He Said He Loved Me, but It Was Because of a Potion - Chapter 4

4

Our eyes met before I could look away.

He didn’t seem surprised.

It felt like he was someone whose expression never changed.

His gaze didn’t seem like it wanted to speak, nor did it look like he was trying to read anything from me.

Just a pitch-black gaze connected to me.

As he kept staring at me for a long while, the nobles standing nearby also turned their heads in this direction.

I had no choice but to slowly start walking toward him.

Since it had come to this, I might as well say hello.

It was only after taking a few steps that I realized I was fairly drunk.

But turning back now wasn’t an option.

I stopped calmly in front of him.

He stared straight at me.

Under the chandelier’s light, seeing him up close gave a different impression.

Rather than authoritative, he seemed more upright and rigid.

I slightly bowed my head and opened my mouth. “It’s a pleasure to meet—”

“Baroness.”

He turned completely toward me, as if he’d been waiting.

“Meeting you like this… it’s truly stirring.”

It was a deep and serene voice that didn’t suit his stern face.

He already knew my face.

Still, I introduced myself anyway.

“I am Anastasia Roxan.”

“I’m Ishtan Gladinare. I’d be glad if you addressed me casually, Baroness.”

The expressions of the surrounding nobles were not ordinary.

Do dukes not usually introduce themselves?

“Thank you for the invitation.”

As expected, gasps of shock burst out from here and there at those words.

They must’ve been quite shocked to find that the one who had brought this ‘bomb’ to the banquet was none other than the man of the hour himself.

“No, I should be the one thanking you.”

Was I finally going to learn what this was all about?

“You…”

“You were of great help in bringing the war to a swift end.”

“…Excuse me?”

It was something I hadn’t expected at all.

Not something I ever imagined hearing.

A faint smile appeared and disappeared at the corner of his lips as he watched my mouth slowly fall open.

“I knew it was you, Baroness, who trained and sent those carrier pigeons and hawks. I apologize for the delay in acknowledging it.”

“…Not at all.”

“What on earth is this about?”

A nobleman couldn’t hold back and cut in.

“Even if the business was handed over and the rights transferred to someone else four years ago, that doesn’t erase the Baroness’s contribution.”

But the duke kept looking at me as he spoke.

“I heard you had no choice but to withdraw due to personal circumstances. That your investors and sponsors all pulled their funds at once.”

He knew more than I expected.

Things one couldn’t know just from enjoying gossip.

“Did you manage to pay off the debt?”

“Thank you for your concern. …Yes, it’s all been repaid.”

“You must’ve had a hard time.”

Honestly, it felt a bit awkward to hear that. Especially from a man who had just returned after six years of life-and-death battles on the front lines.

“It’s widely known that the rebels colluded with heretics. The way the information was disrupted and skirmishes broke out all over. Any citizen of the empire would know that.”

“……”

I couldn’t help but think of Rohwinas Canesion.

Back then, being around him, a noble of a ducal house, I naturally came across a lot of information about the war’s progress.

Maybe it was because I didn’t know enough that I was able to step forward without hesitation.

If the couriers were blocked, if the land routes weren’t safe due to heretic spies, then why not try the skies?

Unexpectedly, I had a knack for it.

Taming birds wasn’t all that difficult for me.

The delicate pigeons used for exchanging letters transformed under my care into reliable carrier pigeons that didn’t flinch even amidst chaos.

And unlike me, who had to vanish from everyone’s sight after that dreadful love potion scandal, the carrier pigeon system became widely known on the battlefield and succeeded in becoming an official imperial enterprise.

“Once again, it was a great help. I dare say it’s thanks to you that I’m alive and standing here.”

He reached out and lightly patted my shoulder.

“Thank you.”

“……”

Even if they were just words, they weren’t something easily given.

Especially not considering my current status.

And especially not in a place like this.

Caught up in a strange emotion, my knees suddenly felt weak.

Honestly, the alcohol played some part in that.

“But when I saw someone like you hadn’t even received an invitation, I figured I’d do the inviting myself, even though I had no ties to you. I hope you understand.”

“…Not at all. I’m honored that you invited me.”

“Then please enjoy the banquet at your leisure. As for your contributions, I’ll personally report them to His Majesty.”

I stared into his eyes, wondering if he truly meant it.

Was he sincere? Or just trying to flatter me?

I couldn’t figure out a thing and stumbled slightly as I returned to my seat.

Not once did the duke mention Rohwinas.

If he knew that much about me, he surely would’ve heard the rumors that were all over the capital.

But he only spoke of what he had personally confirmed.

He didn’t belittle the facts with reputation or gossip, nor did he treat me with any prejudice.

I thought he was a decent person.

And that I was glad I came here today.

I noticed the nobles stealing glances in this direction and murmuring among themselves, but I didn’t care much.

Honestly, ever since the scandal with Rohwinas started to spread, weren’t they the very ones who came up with all kinds of excuses to pull their investments, interfere with the work, throw wrenches in the gears, and ultimately made me give up everything and collapse?

They had no right to add their voices to the matter the duke had brought up.

The breakup with Rohwinas wasn’t just a breakup.

It was a disaster.

My dreams collapsed, and my life was completely wrecked.

I still remember it.

The training grounds, doused in filth.

The many birds that flew off through the barbed wire shredded overnight like rags by their swords.

The endless flood of collection notices arriving at the estate.

Even the servants who stole items and ran off one by one.

I had to cancel all the newspapers I subscribed to.

Because I couldn’t bear to read them.

It felt like the entire world had joined in on this malicious game.

Rohwinas left me behind in that filth.

And with my body buried in that mud, I had to fight alone to prove my innocence.

“……”

Anyway, it was all in the past.

I drank, but couldn’t really taste anything.

So I drank harder.

My stomach churned, and my head felt hot.

It wasn’t a bad feeling, but it wasn’t exactly pleasant either.

“Hey.”

How long had I been like that?

Someone suddenly shoved a tray at me.

It was piled high with all kinds of desserts.

“What’s this for?”

“…You’ll ruin your stomach.”

When I looked up, I saw a young-looking attendant standing there.

I hadn’t begged him to bring me anything, but he responded like that with a scowling face.

I wasn’t sure whether to trust his words or his expression, so I hesitated before answering.

“You brought this because you thought I’d ruin my stomach?”

“Am I crazy?”

“……”

“……”

If he had said yes, I would’ve at least said thank you—but my mouth shut again for no reason.

What was this guy’s deal?

“Then take it back.”

At my indifferent reply, the attendant’s pupils shook violently.

As if someone had forced him to come here, he stood there awkwardly, unable to do anything.

“You don’t like these?”

That was the question he finally asked.

I looked more closely at his face.

Too clean-cut for a palace attendant.

And those unnecessarily sharp eyes.

If he went around glaring like that, someone should’ve already beaten him up by now.

His blue hair fluttered softly, yet gleamed subtly under the bright banquet lights.

It reminded me of the summer sky these days.

Despite wearing the same uniform as the other attendants, he looked like a neatly dressed young noble.

His sharp, weary features combined with his edgy look gave off a cynical air.

He didn’t seem like someone cut out for serving at the palace.

“I don’t like sweets.”

At my reply, he actually muttered a curse under his breath.

“Hold on.”

Then he swept up a new set of cookies—nutty or bitter-flavored—and returned with the tray.

“There. Satisfied?”

“…What are you trying to do right now?”

When I stared at him, he suddenly averted his eyes and snapped irritably, “Can’t you just eat something?”

At first, I thought he was just angry.

But the longer I looked, the redder the back of his neck became.

Trying to act unfazed, he clenched his fists and glared at me.

“What?”

“……”

“Why are you staring at me?”

I didn’t respond. I just took the tray from his hands and set it on the table.

Then picked up a cookie and put it in my mouth.

“Thanks. I’ll enjoy it.”

I liked the bitter taste on my tongue and the crisp texture.

Then—

When I looked up again.

I almost flinched.

Gone was the flustered boy with flushed cheeks.

Now cold, unyielding ash-grey eyes stared at me.

It had been a long time since I felt this kind of piercing gaze.

“You’re Baroness Roxan, right?”

I was a bit dumbfounded.

“So you helped me without even knowing who I was?”

“As if. You’re the shame of high society, the one everyone avoids like the plague after the love potion scandal backfired.”

“……”

I let it slide. It was cute how he didn’t deny the part about helping me.

It’s not like I had nothing to say and just let it go.

“If you knew, why’d you come talk to me?”

“Am I not allowed?”

“Well. I guess there’s no reason you can’t.”

“Then eat some more. That’s nowhere near enough to settle your stomach.”

“You talk too much.”

Even as I said that, I followed his suggestion and popped another cookie in my mouth.

“But why don’t you like sweets?”

“What, is there a rule that says I have to like them?”

“It’s just… you seem to like sweet alcohol.”

“……”

“This is fruit wine too.”

He tapped the nearly empty bottle beside me with his finger.