Romantic Psycho - Chapter 7

At the sudden voice, Diane screamed internally. Startled, she turned her head a few beats too late toward the sound.

Ellie had poked her head in and was blinking her round eyes. Diane had no idea how long she had been there.

“You, how long have you been there?”

“Didn’t you hear me knock?”

Ellie tilted her head like she had heard something strange, then her eyes widened. Rushing to Diane’s bedside, she fidgeted in panic.

“Goodness, miss. Were you having a nightmare? You’re soaked in cold sweat…”

“No.”

Diane quickly averted her eyes and denied it.

Though Ellie was a new maid who had not been at Winderbury long, she had surely heard the rumors that the young lady was mad.

If the earl and countess heard that she was still having nightmares…

The gray, carriage-like solitary cell came to mind. The smell of strong phenol and chloroform mixed with chemicals, the stench of mold, churned her stomach.

Diane parted her lips several times before barely managing to add, “I think I might be coming down with a cold.”

“I’ll call for the doctor right away.”

“It’s not that bad.”

“But…”

Diane glanced at Ellie, who was inspecting her from every angle. Their eyes met, and Ellie looked genuinely worried.

For a moment, Diane was seized by an impulse—to tell Ellie everything, to ask her for help.

…She must not have fully woken up yet. Ellie was just a servant she had leverage on.

Snapping back to her senses, Diane said firmly, “I’m fine. I must have just been overly tired yesterday.”

“Church on weekends is always hectic. The dressmaker won’t arrive until after lunch, so don’t push yourself. You should sleep a bit more.”

Diane quickly nodded. “You’re right. I think I will.”

“And it’d be even better if you just went back to Winderbury.”

The earl and countess believed Diane was mentally unstable. They feared she might start spouting nonsense again at any moment. They wanted her to stay within the mansion until the wedding.

Hearing late that Diane was in Britt, the two, still abroad, began sending staff to Lady Sheldon’s residence.

But Diane had no intention of returning to Winderbury.

And since the earl and countess could not publicly admit there was something wrong with her, they could not make a scene.

Reluctantly, they asked Lady Sheldon to watch over her during the social season, and kept sending letters urging Diane to return to Winderbury.

Diane ignored them completely.

As if she hadn’t expected much, Ellie said, “Then rest well,” and left the room.

Left alone, Diane blinked blankly for a while.

It had already been a week since she began staying at Lady Sheldon’s mansion.

Over the past few days, Diane had gone out with Lady Sheldon to various places. Each time, she stayed on high alert, worried she might appear abnormal, so her exhaustion was not just from nightmares.

She would have preferred to stay shut in her room. But since she had claimed she wanted to build relationships in high society, outings were unavoidable.

She calculated how much time she had left.

There was still time before the earl and countess returned from their trip with Louis Boten.

She wanted to break off the engagement before then, somehow.

How, though?

Though Diane was twenty and considered a proper lady, she was still a minor under Rosen law.

There was almost nothing she could do without the consent of her guardian, Walter Lockwood. Even fleeing to a convent to become a nun required Walter’s permission.

Pretending to be mad again might be the simplest way, but she didn’t want to end up back in the asylum.

She had never expected to resolve things through a conversation with the count and countess. The moment she said she didn’t want to marry Louis Boten, they would say she had lost her mind.

Perhaps she had stayed shut in for too long.

No matter how much she thought it over, she couldn’t come up with a good plan. Even now, just being in Britt still felt strange.

Diane shut her eyes, exasperated.

There was no way she could fall back asleep. If she did, she would only have another nightmare.

It wasn’t until a few days later that the fog in her mind finally began to clear.

***

Lady Sheldon spoke in an excited tone, “My, perhaps it’s because your skin is so pale, but you look good in any color, Diane.”

The intricately detailed and elegant silk dress adorned with beads, embroidery, and lace was a bright white, strongly recommended by the dressmaker. It suited Diane’s pale skin and dark hair perfectly.

“With your hair done up like this, you really do look just like your mother.”

Her hair was neatly gathered and finished with pearl ornaments, accentuating her slender neckline and delicately angled shoulders.

“Your waist. Does it feel tight when you breathe?”

“I think it’s fine.”

The latest trend among the ladies of Britt was a narrow waist. The tightly laced corset and voluminous skirt suited Diane’s slender limbs and unexpectedly shapely figure well.

“Then it’s perfect.”

Lady Sheldon looked at Diane’s reflection in the mirror and gently wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

“At tonight’s party, I’ll introduce you to many of your mother’s old friends. Now, turn and face me.”

With a faint smile, Diane turned toward her. Lady Sheldon’s affectionate gaze was waiting for her.

“You seem nervous.”

“It’s been nearly six or seven years.”

Since her mother’s death, Diane hadn’t shown herself at a single social gathering. Lady Sheldon spoke in a gentle voice to encourage her.

“There’s no need to be so nervous. A ball in Britt is not much different from those in other cities. Just remember the parties that were held at Winderbury.”

The truth was, Lady Sheldon was more nervous. Wanting to reassure her, Diane smiled a little more brightly.

“Yes, Lady Sheldon.”

Lady Sheldon smiled with satisfaction and carefully looked over Diane from head to toe one last time.

When she raised her eyes again, she was still smiling, but her expression had turned rather serious.

“…There’s just one last thing to keep in mind, Diane.”

“Please go ahead.”

Lady Sheldon hesitated for a moment, as if choosing her words, then spoke in a short and firm tone.

“Not every gentleman is truly a gentleman.”

“Pardon? What do you mean by that?”

“…There are some who defile a lady’s honor, who cannot truly be called gentlemen. That new world fad called free love has reached Britt’s social circles, and some foolish young ladies ignore duty and tradition.”

Diane, listening quietly, suddenly paused. The slick-looking man she had met in Martenly came to mind.

A handsome face, a shallow smile, an unbelievably close distance. Could that man be one of the so-called gentlemen who aren’t really gentlemen?

“But you mustn’t be like those girls. You are the young lady of the Lockwood earldom. Of course, you are a wise and proper lady, so I have no worries.”

Diane quickly gathered her thoughts and met Lady Sheldon’s gaze again. There was concern in her expression.

“You’re so beautiful that it worries me. The gentlemen will surely lose their minds when they see you. The earl and countess are worried about that too.”

“They’ve always been so concerned about me.”

“That’s why, Diane, what I want to ask of you is this…”

Lady Sheldon finally held Diane’s hands firmly in hers.

“You’re at a very important time in your life. The talks with Mr. Boten are going well. No matter the circumstance, you must not forget a lady’s virtue. Especially at a ball like tonight’s.”

As a noblewoman, Diane had been taught all her life to remain proper and chaste. Since chastity and decorum were second nature to her, Lady Sheldon’s request felt somewhat redundant.

“Every social season, there are young ladies who ruin their future with a single mistake.”

“…A mistake?”

“You must never be suspected of having lost your purity. Especially in your case. You do understand what I mean, don’t you?”

Diane, as if struck, found herself momentarily speechless.

Lady Sheldon simply assumed that Diane, being virtuous, was shocked by the indecent topic. She softly took Diane’s shoulders and turned her back toward the mirror.

“Oh, don’t be afraid. I’ll always be by your side, so you can rest easy.”

“…Thank you.”

“All you need to do is mingle with the people I introduce you to.”

“Yes.”

“Everyone will welcome you.”

Yes.

Diane looked at her reflection in the mirror. Even to her own eyes, she looked like a proper young lady.

Good lineage, young and pure.

Next, Diane thought of Louis Boten, someone she had tried so hard not to think about.

He wanted a son from a young, pure wife of noble blood.

“You must never be suspected of having lost your purity. Especially in your case. You do understand what I mean, don’t you?”

Lineage and youth couldn’t be undone, but perhaps purity could be irreversibly tainted.

The haze in her mind cleared in an instant. Diane felt her heart begin to race.

It wasn’t from fear.

It was a feeling she hadn’t known in a long time—hope.